How to send flowers discreetly when having an affair

So, you find yourself in a bit of a pickle, huh? You're juggling two love interests and need to send flowers without blowing your cover. Don't worry, we've got your back! Here's a sneaky guide to sending flowers discreetly when you're having an affair. Shh, we won't tell!

1. Choose a Low-Key Florist

First things first, you need to pick a florist who knows how to keep a secret. Look for a local florist who offers discreet delivery options and won't spill the beans to anyone. You don't want your side piece finding out about your main squeeze!

2. Opt for Neutral Flowers

Avoid sending roses or other classic romantic flowers that scream "I love you." Instead, go for neutral blooms like daisies, sunflowers, or tulips. Keep it casual, keep it cool.

3. Use a Fake Name

When placing the order, use a fake name to throw off any potential snoops. Get creative with it! Maybe go with something like "Mr. Smith" or "Ms. Johnson." Just make sure it's not a name that will raise any eyebrows.

4. Send Flowers to a Neutral Location

Don't risk sending flowers directly to your home or workplace. Instead, opt for a neutral location like a P.O. box, a friend's house, or even a local coffee shop. Keep it off the radar!

5. Include a Cryptic Message

Add a cryptic message to the card that only your secret lover will understand. Inside jokes, code words, or subtle hints will keep the message between you two and add an extra layer of secrecy.

6. Schedule Delivery at an Odd Time

To avoid any suspicion, schedule the flower delivery at an odd time when you know your partner won't be around. Early morning or late evening deliveries can help you fly under the radar.

7. Don't Leave a Paper Trail

Make sure to pay in cash or use a secure online payment method to avoid leaving a paper trail. The last thing you want is for your significant other to stumble upon a credit card statement with incriminating evidence!

And there you have it, a foolproof guide to sending flowers discreetly when you're playing the field. Remember, discretion is key, so keep it hush-hush and enjoy the thrill of your secret rendezvous!